My Own Race
Once a year I like to treat myself to a race all to myself. (OK, I did it in 2012, and being that it’s 2013, it doesn’t exactly constitute an annual pattern yet, but I like to think that it will become one.) This is what I do, and it’s not shocking or special. I sign up for an out-of-town race, book a hotel, and go all by my lonesome self. No friends, no hubby, no sidekicks. Right now I’m sitting on a plush couch, in a hotel in the lovely Bethlehem, PA for the Lehigh Valley Via Half Marathon.
Chillin’ in a random park in Bethlehem PA.
I love my Ragnar buddies (DC in FOUR WEEKS!) and it’s always fun to have a familiar face waiting for you at the finish line, but these me-races are a whole different breed. Restful, replenishing, rejuvenating. (Ok, ask me how I’m feeling 90 minutes into the half marathon tomorrow morning. I might have a slightly different perspective about the restfulness of race vacations.)
Hopefully the course won’t have a ton of hills like this. Please?
But for now, it’s like a total me-vacation. I can geek out at the expo without my husband wondering why I need to look at so many tech shirts. I don’t need to follow a crowd into a restaurant that I don’t really want to go to. I just go wherever. I explore the town, usually with no destination in mind. Book and water bottle in my backpack.
Library book in my lap = happiness.
I realize how blessed I am to be able to “waste” an entire hotel room on just yours truly. (I think I might jump on the bed I’m not going to sleep in just so it gets some use. ) For many people who travel for business, it might not feel so decadent to go on a mini-trip alone, but for me it’s a total hoot. (I did just use the word hoot, and truth be told, you probably will too in conversation in the next three days. Go on. Do it.) I even considered ordering room service, but that’s going too far. There looks to be a sweet burrito joint around the corner that I’m going to hit up for my solo dinner before curling up with a book tonight. (Don’t worry – I’ll order something tame.)
Love this house… Bethlehem, PA
Catch you on the flipside (of 13.1 miles.) Here we go!
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In Other News…
So in other news, I have not blogged in nearly a year. I think I was so emotionally involved in the posts following Max’s death (my dog), that nothing else seemed important to write about. But lately, I’ve felt the urge so I’m going to break my nearly 12 month fast. Or at least try to. (How many posts have I started like, “I know it’s been a while since I blogged. I’m the world’s worst blogger.”)
A year in the life of Carrie via photos? How about that? That’s an easy way to catch up…
Met some super huge trees…
Hiked here… (Tahoe)
Ran here… (More Tahoe)
And fell here… (perfect camera moment, right? I love that my husband took a photo as I was flying through the air…)
Went camping with my best friends (and their dogs..)
Went to Turks and Caicos and enjoyed empty beaches…
Couriered a Potcake across international boarders for an adoption…
Oh, this, BTW, is a Potcake (an “island dog.”) His name is Buddy and he now lives with an awesome family near Philly.
Lots and lots of stuff going on with The Monster Milers… our volunteers continue to amaze and humble me…
Planning is kicking into HIGH GEAR for The Rescue Run, Philly’s first race to benefit animal rescue. (And I can’t believe it’s actually happening….)
Spending time with my own two monsters…
My husband’s family visited Philly (from New Zealand); his parents for the first time…
And we decided the logical thing would be to take a family trip to Mexico (w/ my in-laws, brother-in-law and my mom.) I took my mom to see pyramids.
We got lost…
And saw things like this…
Oh and I swam in this cenote…
And saw a legit Luche Libre match in Mexico and kissed a wrestler…
Ran another Ragnar – this time in CANADA!
Lots o’ hiking, living, cooking, loving, laughing and being with Lindsay…
Basically, I am ridiculously blessed. I can honestly say, I’ve never been happier in my life. And it’s scary to admit that because I always feel like something bad has to happen when life gets this good. Work has been great and I feel like I’ve finally found my managerial style. I think my staff are happy and we’re actively working to build relationships with them. Most of our clients are thoughtful, respectful and grateful for what we do. Our non-profit volunteers are just… inspirational. I still can’t believe that a silly idea I had while out running would blow up into what it has. I’m running often (injury free in 2013!) and loving it. Friends are wonderful, family bonds are strong, Philly is where my heart is. My dogs are healthy and my cat has attitude. Linds and I are best friends and we’re finally planning that wedding we’ve been talking about for ten years. Life has just been… good.
Reaction to Runner’s World “Don’t Go Into Those Hills…” article
As a dog lover, pet professional, rescue advocate and the CEO of a non-profit that does as lot of work with mixed-breed dogs, I was disheartened by the sensational article printed in the Oct. 2012 issue of Runner’s World magazine.
Since it was all said on our non-profit blog, I’m just going to link to the post. I sincerely hope the editors of RW think twice before publishing the article online without SERIOUS edits.
And here’s a picture of my loyal running partner, who in some municipalities, would be labeled a “Pit Bull” even though she’s likely some mix of a terrier/boxer/who-know’s-what. She is my best-friend, my protector, my pavement-pounding partner, my snuggle-master.
Redefining Running Goals
Remember this from earlier this year? My goal list:
There comes a time when it’s not only practical, it’s also impossible not to, redefine goals. My main goal this year was to run 900 miles; the list above contained sub-goals in my pursuit of the lovely 900 miles. Surely, it’s not an epic distance for many runners, but for injury-prone-Carrie, it was a big jump over my 700 miles of 2011. I knew that total-body fitness was going to be important for injury prevention.
Which is where I fell of the wagon… in a big way.
Yoga? Yeah, maybe four times January-April.
Strength training? Who has time when I ran an Iron Girl half marathon one weekend, the next weekend ran Broad Street (10 miles), and the next weekend ran my second Ragnar up in Cape Cod. I was all about miles, miles, miles.
Rest? Did you see my last point? I didn’t even have a five day’s recovery between Broad Street and Ragnar. I had a mere seven days between my half marathon PR of 8-minutes and Broad Street (another five minute PR). Note to self: Never again.
Listen to my body? Right before my third Ragnar leg (after 45 minutes sleep the night before) I just about cried because I was so physically tired that my emotions started to get a bit haywire, but I couldn’t let the team down, duh. (And I didn’t. I ran my heart out. And then drank some beer. And then slept, like a baby.)
Keep it steady? Well…
Eat better? Hooray! I did this. I’m thrilled with the amount of fruits and veggies I’m putting in my body. (I’m drinking a Great Lakes – Burning River Pale Ale as I type this, but for the most part what’s gone in, has been good.)
Anyway, needless to say this is what happened:
I’ve been half-running / half-not running for the last three months. A good week is twelve miles; a bad week is six. I learned all about a new injury this year: posterior tibial tendonitis. PTT is keeping my runs to no more than 3 miles, 2-4 times per week. It’s BRUTAL. So basically what I’m saying is – that goal of 900 miles? It needs to be redefined. And for a while I was REALLY bummed about it. But in retrospect, it’s a luxury to be able to redefine my fitness goals. Sometimes in life we’re bound by goals we can’t get out of. Everyday I deal with work deadlines and goals that aren’t flexible or pliable. I have things in my personal life that HAVE to get done. I have phone calls I’m required to make. Bills I have to pay. Chores around the house that need to get done to maintain sanity. But with my running, I have the freedom to just say, “Stop. It’s just a number. Enjoy the process, not only the end-goal.” I’m not going to cling to an arbitrary number and drive myself into a stress fracture. I’m going to let it go. So that I can open myself up to healing.
I haven’t even put a number goal on this year. To be honest, once I’m feeling more optimistic about my injury (and healing), I might grab a calculator and look at a calendar to come up with a number that isn’t only challenging, but also realistic. I haven’t registered for any Fall races, but I would really love to do two halfs this Fall. I think it’s doable if I’m smart about how I approach race day.
So back to the basics. Last weekend, a dear friend of mine (who is gearing up to become a yoga instructor) came over to my house after a run to tailor a post-run yoga routine just for me. And you know what? I’ve completed it after each run this week, and I’m starting to feel a difference in my foot. (I also did two, hour long yoga classes this week.) I can’t go out and run ten miles yet, but I can see a time in the not so distant future, when I can head out for a double-digit morning (after a few weeks of training of course.) Until then, I’m resting. I’m stretching. I’m doing squats. I’m doing all of the things that I was supposed to be doing. I guess this is a another lesson, right?
Were you ever forced to redefine your goal? How did you feel about it?
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The Color Run Philadelphia 2012 Recap
I saw the video on Facebook for The Color Run and signed up five minutes later. It’s really a testament to the power of social media (or humans’ craving to simply have a good time.) It was probably the quickest race decision I’ve ever made in my life. I don’t even think I checked the calendar before registering for the race. Thankfully it didn’t conflict with anything! And surprisingly, when I asked my non-running husband if he’d like to register he didn’t skip a beat and said, “Sure. Sign me up.” (Whoa.)
We were in the middle of one of the region’s longest heatwaves, so we rode our bikes to packet-pickup early to beat the 95+ degree heat. I gawked when I saw the volunteers checking us in with ipads. (Who needs paper and highlighters? Though I will admit, it took them about a minute to “search” for our name. Maybe paper beats technology?) Despite a crowd of 23K runners, packet pick-up was quick and easy.
One thing I love about living in the city? My (mostly) car-free lifestyle!
I have to admit, I knew this was going to be a large race, but when I heard that 23,000 people had registered and it was walker/stroller/kid friendly I began to doubt just how much running we’d actually be doing. Since I was running with my husband (and it was a non-timed event), I wasn’t planning on racing, but I did want to RUN a 5K. They released the runners every few minutes in waves of 2,000 runners and while we passed some people walking in the first quarter mile, it wasn’t too bad. The event was more of a silly experience anyway so we had fun, stopped a few times to take photos and just enjoyed the fact that we were running together.
Not very colorful… yet…
Every kilometer, we ran through a “color zone.” (AKA volunteers doused runners with a spray of chalky-color-madness.) We could spot the “color” zones ahead and when we got to the first one, my husband said, “And this is what chemical warfare probably looks like.” Yikes!
Oh, there’s some color!
So much fun…
But the best part of the entire experience had to be the “Color” throw at the end. Every 15 minutes, a crowd of runners gathers at the finish, and are instructed to throw their “color” at the same time. Throughout the race the organizers remind runners to “wait to throw your color” and it’s a good thing they did. I probably would have pelted the hubby the first second I got a chance. My patience was rewarded. The “color throw” was quite magical. This was easily the most photogenic running event I’ve ever participated in…
Nice cloud!
This wasn’t a timed race, and I didn’t wear a watch. To me it was more about just getting out there and having fun. I didn’t even think about stopping to take a snapshot, and that was refreshing. Not everyone who participated was a runner, and many participants walked most of the course. The event was well coordinated, the waves worked, the lanes were wide, and the walkers didn’t really affect me much. In many respects, I hoped that this event showed folks of all fitness backgrounds that events could be fun and non-judgmental. It can be scary entering a “race” – and I hope the first-timers who signed up for The Color Run will continue racing. I kinda wish this was my first race, though it would make non-colorful races seem a bit bland in comparison. (And no, I didn’t have any problems washing it out of my hair, though I’m not a platinum blonde…)
Wouldn’t the world be prettier with more color?
Riding home, covered in color…
Final Time: Who knows? Color: Yes please.
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A-Month-in-the-life-of-Carrie-recap
So this is another post that begins with excuses about why I haven’t written in a over a month. The truth is, I just didn’t feel like it. So I didn’t. That’s all. In the weeks leading up to Max’s death and the days following, I wrote some pretty emotional posts about preparing for the loss, coming to grips with losing him, and realizing life was going to go on. To be honest, after writing about the experience, I found that anything I wanted to write about seemed trite in comparaison.
But lately I’ve been getting the itch to write again, here you have it. A month-in-the-life-of-Carrie-recap! (I know, not a super exciting post, but I’m hoping that inspiration will find me along the way if I start writing again.) In many ways, the last few weeks have just been about enjoying my life and my family.
We camped.
Mmmmm… Coffee over the fire!
We spent time with wonderful friends and neigbhors at a Memorial Day block party.
Yes, I live on the best block in Philly.
And had a block dinner party. (If you can’t tell, we enjoy eating food in our street, literally.)
Eating in the street… the perfect way to spend a Summer Saturday night.
I lead two “Adopt a Running Buddy” events for our non-profit in May.
Monster Miler Volunteers hang out with Greg, an adoptable running buddy from PAWS at the ODDyssey Half Marathon.
Survived a heat wave Philly-style.
Who popped the fire hydrant?
I ended up injured and didn’t run for over three weeks. (Three endurance races in three weekends was a bit too much for me… another lesson learned the hard way.)
But I was able to hike throughout my injury (thank heavens!), and did a loop-trail to two summits along the PA Appalachian Trail.
The view from the top! Weeeeee!
My favorite hiking buddy gets some smooches!
We scouted out various wedding venues for our “Second Wedding” with my mom and Grammy.
LOVE. (Mom and Grammy, touring Tyler Arboretum…)
I ADOPTED A NEW DOG, Jax, from our partner shelter, Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society (PAWS)! He’s a stellar running buddy and Lola is thrilled to have him around. (Friendly reminder: Don’t shop – adopt a running buddy.) We had been “looking” for a dog at various shelters for a few weeks. PAWS called us last week and said, “We have a dog, the running volunteers love him. He’s REALLY stressed out in the shelter and not doing well at all with all of the noises and commotion. Can you pick him up to foster? We have to get him out of the shelter.” Of course. Once we got him home, I knew he was the right fit. No dog is ever going to replace Max, but our home feels whole again with two dogs. We’re still learning his quirks and gaining his trust. It’s a fun time in our household.
Jax gets a bath the day after we brought him home…
I check my roof garden everyday for signs of non-green tomatoes. Today we got our first tease! By the end of the week, we’ll be eating tomatoes, warm from the vine. (The only way they should be eaten IMHO.)
My roof-tomatoes are killin’ it this year!
We booked a trip to Lake Tahoe and Yosemite! The hubby and I are going to spend a week hiking, drinking local wine and searching for hidden swimming holes. I’m counting the days!
Oh and I’m running again. I came off the injury, and logged 12 pain-free miles last week. Gonna kick it up to 20 this week and see how the ol’ tootsies feel. And did I mention, I have two running buddies now? Yeah, it feels awesome.
Jax & Lola stop for a picture break. “Mom, why aren’t we running? Take the photo already!”
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Race Recap: 2012 Broad Street Run
Can you tell I’m behind on posts? A BSR recap, three weeks late? What gives? Well, almost immediately after I took of my shoes from BSR, I started to pack for Ragnar Cape Cod… And then I was off for an insane four days of running, no sleep, running some more, clam chowder, still no sleep, and then more running. (It was heaven!) Can I even remember what happened at Broad Street? Let’s see!
As always, Broad Street logistics are great. I heard a few grumble-grumbles from the Twitter-sphere about really long lines at the expo. (I heard someone say they waited two hours? Note to self: Don’t think you’ll beat the crowds by going on your Friday lunch hour.) I visited the expo Friday at 3:30PM and went right to the volunteer table to grab my bib. No lines! I was chatting with a few of the vendors and told them about The Monster Milers, and two said, “Oh, we met another Miler today already!” and another two, “Oh, we’ve read about you guys!” (I have to admit, I did feel slightly like a celebrity.)
Sleepy face! No one else is awake…
Race morning: I jumped on a train a few blocks from my house, and 20 minutes later I was at the start. I always enjoy getting to large races quite early. (I usually head straight to the portapotties and then find a nice spot to eat a snack and lightly stretch out.) For last year’s race, it was my first double-digit event so I was a ball of nerves before the race. This time I just took in the sights and enjoyed the energy of tens of thousands of other runners.
After a really awesome watch-free PR the previous weekend at the Iron Girl Half Marathon, I decided to run without a watch for Broad Street. I PRed it by five minutes, though I was expecting to PR it so it wasn’t that much of a surprise to me at the end. I could definitely feel that I had just raced a half marathon the previous week. I could just “feel” that my legs could go faster, but I couldn’t make them go faster. And the wonderful thing about the entire scenario? I didn’t really care. I knew that the way I felt was directly related to the effort I put into the previous weekend’s half marathon. I found solace in the fact that I shaved 7 minutes off my half marathon record just seven days before. When it’s taken in perspective, there wasn’t much to fret about. So I just enjoyed the race, and gave it my all.
Broad Street Medal and Bib…
Final Time: 1:25:53 (Overall: 8885/34062, Sex: 2881/19050, Div: 549/3705)
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Race Recap: Iron Girl Half Marathon, Columbia MD (2012)
What a weekend! I met a legend – Jean Benoit Samuelson, PRed a half by nine minutes (yes, nine), ran in another state and made it home for brunch at the Royal Tavern on Sunday. I’d say it was a success.
Race Schwag - Iron Girl Half Marathon
Due to a logistical snafu, my husband also booked a dj gig the day before I planned to run the half marathon so I traveled to Maryland by myself. (We have one of those dry erase calendars that was used mainly for our business at first, but now we use it for our personal life. I’m not sure how we lived without it. But we both neglected to mark our events on the calendar, and thus we had a conflict.) Truth be told, I had a wonderful 24-hour Carrie-vacation full of me-time, hand-sewing, reading, writing, walks in the rain and relaxation. (And after his gig he spent all night playing video games. Score for both of us!)
View from my room... Catching up on some sewing.
I opted to stay at the race hotel (Sheraton), since this was the first out-of-town race other than Ragnar that I’ve ever done. (And we all know there’s not much sleeping for Ragnar races – who needs a hotel?) When we travel, we normally opt for independent B&B’s or hostels, but it was really nice to park the car on arrival and not have to use it again until I left. When I needed to pick up my packet, I simply walked downstairs. Ditto for dinner. Ditto to see Jean Benoit Samueleson speak. And the starting area was a two minute walk from the lobby. While it lacked the charm of a family run establishment, it was handy and convenient.
Easy race access - The Sheraton, Columbia MD
After I picked up my packet, I made sure to arrive early to see Joan Benoit Samuelson speak. Yeah, I was the girl who sat in the front row. Why sit a few rows back when you can be so close to a legend? She was everything I thought she would be and more. (I’m going to devote an entire post to Joan-isms and things I learned during the meet-and-greet. Let’s just say I called my husband and said, “In 20 years I want to be just like her! Ok, I probably won’t have a gold medal, but she’s awesome!”)
Meeting Joan Benoit Samuelson
A few weeks ago I started to float the idea of running without a watch for this race after a I PRed a 5K, naked. Just in case I lost my nerve, I brought my Garmin to Maryland. I didn’t want to wake up on race day and have a freak-out: “OMG! I can’t do this without GPS! How will I know when to push it, and when to pull back?” Enter Joan. She told a story about meeting a running buddy who was struggling with a marathon goal. She said to him, “Throw out your watch and run by feel. Run your own race and you’ll run faster.” And who am I to argue with the first female gold medalist and a woman who’s still running sub-3 hour marathons? She answered my question before I even asked it!
A surprisingly tasty dinner in the hotel restaurant...
After dinner I went back to my room to jot down some Joan-isms so I would not forget them. I sewed for a while, read for a while, and while I was perfectly content with my day, I started to get really antsy in the hotel room. It was raining outside, but I’m a big fan of running/walking/hiking in the rain, so I grabbed my rain jacket and headed out to explore the lake. Downtown Columbia is actually a very cool suburb. The city has done a smashing job with their outdoor space. Trails and paths dominate the entire town (something you don’t often see in the car-crazy ‘burbs) and it seems that outdoor-living was a big part of the town’s planning. A path ran right past the hotel so I walked along the lake for a while, saw some turtles and tons of ducks (I’m like a kid when it comes to that kind of thing), took some photos and enjoyed the fact that I was out and exploring. Once it started to get a bit dark, I headed back to the room for, yes, some more sewing and set out everything for the next morning.
A sweet outdoor space in Colombia, MD
I didn’t get to bed as early as I hoped due to a VERY loud wedding a few floors down. (Dear Sheraton: It’s not so awesome for guests at the official race hotel, who need to be up at the butt-crack of dawn for an endurance event, to be kept awake due to a party downstairs. My room was vibrating with bass from the DJ for four hours.) So, after not much sleep, I woke up in the AM feeling a little bit groggy, but mostly pumped and ready to go. I gobbled a half PB and banana sandwich and chugged some water. I looked at the Garmin and said, “Not today sweetie.” Because I was doing this thing solo, I didn’t bring a camera to the start/finish and snapped a quick mirror-shot before heading down to the festivities. (Classic)
Forever in a running skirt!
Everything was really well placed at the starting area. Even though this was the inaugural event, I could tell that Tricolumbia was an experienced race group. The MCs were great at giving handy directions and I easily checked my gear, found the starting line and got ready for the race. Now the fun begins, right? As my Ragnar race proved, I’m not very good at reading elevation maps. When I see a little hump I think “small, rolling hill.” No big deal. I saw a semi-severe hill on the map at mile six so I figured that I had some work to do but it shouldn’t be that hard. I should have learned my lesson at Ragnar. The second the gun went off we headed up a modest hill. Then down. Then up. Then down. Then up. Then down. Then up. Then down. At around mile four, I just told myself, “Carrie – chances are that the hills are not going to cease. We must be in hill-country. Just go with it. Run your hardest. Use gravity on the downhills and make the hills your bitch.”
One of these days I'll learn to pay attention to elevation maps...
So how about that mile 6 hill? It was one of those hills where you simply lift your foot and it hits the ground long before it should. I was practically tip-toe running, jogging, crawling up it. Someone had a sign about halfway up that said, “Make this hill your bitch.” Thanks. Do they have any idea how much I needed that? Yep. I saw the “end” and kept telling myself, “OK one more minute. 30 more seconds. 10 more seconds.” I got to what I thought was the top and realized that my legs weren’t feeling much relief. Why? Because we didn’t get to the top, we just got to the “not super steep” part of the bitch-hill. I kept slogging for a few more minutes. (Dear Philadelphia: We need more hills. The Ben Franklin Bridge is great, but not good enough. Cheers!)
Once I conquered “the bitch” I came to the halfway point and I saw my first glimpse at the time. I was nearly delirious from that hill, so I don’t remember the exact time but it was 58-minutes-something. And then it hit me – a sub two-hour half marathon was doable if I could keep my splits semi-even. (Something I ALWAYS struggle with, even while wearing a watch. And I haven’t been able to break the 2-hour mark.) Due to all of the hills, I really had no idea what kind of miles I was churning out. My effort level was definitely up and I was pushing myself with every step, but I wasn’t sure if it was pace related or non-stop hill related. I actually laughed out loud and thought, “Joan – you are a legend! Throw out your watch. You’ll run faster! I am running faster!”
I wish I could say the second half was less hilly than the first, but it wasn’t, so I just settled in for it. I actually came to grips with it and started to enjoy the challenge. The race turned into endless hill mini-challenges. I did have my earphones in (gasp!) but I always keep the volume really low so I can thank volunteers and chat to other runners. It was great to have that camaraderie with the other women, especially after nearly an hour and a half of non-stop hills. I really started to feel my sciatic nerve flare up at around mile 8 (dreaming of my foam roller kept me going) so I just ran at a pace that felt right. I mean let’s face it – if I listened to my muscles I probably would have just collapsed on someone’s lawn, so at that point I ran what I “felt” I could run without seriously injuring myself.
The homestretch was pretty epic. When I came around the final corner I could see the clock, but barely. This was what was going through my head: “Downhill to the finish! Come on legs! Gravity is your friend. Just let loose. Wait, what’s that? Under two hours? Awesome, but I can’t see the minute. Who cares! Sub-two-hours! Oh crap, what if it’s reading 1:59:52? I might not make it! Who cares, still a PR unless I collapse right now. No way. You’ve got to be kidding me. 1:55? I can’t have PRed it by that much. That’s six minutes. Is that possible? On hills? No. No. I can’t believe it. 1:52 – is that right? That can’t be right. I need to get new contacts. It is. It is right. That’s a PR. THAT’S A NINE MINUTE PR! Take that bitch hill! Take that GPS! PR!!!!!” I have not cried at a finish line, but I came real close with this one. Real close. One of my goals was to run a sub-2-hr half this year. It wasn’t in my wildest dreams to come in 1:52:40.
I was walking on air. Food and beverages were plentiful after the race so I grabbed some goodies along with my finisher’s charm bracelet (love all-women races) and headed back to the hotel for some foam rolling BLISS and a lovely shower. I was checked out by 10AM and home by noon for brunch, a beer, and a nap. This entire experience has been surprisingly inspirational. From meeting Joan, to really pushing what I thought was possible, to just enjoying 24-hours of me-time – this was a not a race I’ll soon forget. And now I have entirely new goal: Sub 1:50 half.
Iron Girl Half Marathon Medal - sweet bling!
Final Time: 1:52:40 (8:36 Pace)
Overall: 197/1617
Age Group: 33/272
For the record – nearly 30 years after her Gold Medal in the marathon, Joan Benoit Samuelson came in 6th. Yes. She is my hero. She churned out miles at a 6:33 pace. I can’t even fathom that kind of speed. Congrats to the winner: Askale Merachi of Washington DC who crossed at 1:17:06. Estrogen power!
What’s your half marathon goal? Leave me a comment!
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Running naked at my next Half Marathon?
Back in February I ran “naked” (no watch) at a local 5K – The Pickle Run and PRed it. (The Pickle’s are watch-free races…) Normally my eyes are glued to my watch. (“Am I starting too fast? Pull back Carrie, don’t burn yourself out. I’m only going a 9min mile pace? It feels much faster. I wonder if I’m dehydrated or something. Can I hold this pace for another five miles? Pick it up!”) My races become a non-stop pace pace check-in and mental calculation of finishing times. I swear sometimes I see more of my Garmin than the race course.
Realizing I PRed, with no watch on.
The Pickle Run was one of the easiest 5K’s (“feeling” wise) that I’ve ever run AND it was also the hilliest. So how does a girl PR a 5K with serious elevation change when she’s used to running around a fairly flat city? I’m beginning to think it has to do with the fact that I ran it without the constant inner monolog about my pace. (Speed up, slow down, hold steady!) I simply ran. When I felt like I could push it, I did. When I felt like my lungs were at their capacity, I reeled it in. And at the end when I felt I had enough energy to break for the finish line and pass another runner, I did it. Because I felt like it. And damn it was a thrill to check the clock at the finish.
Leave the Garmin behind? Inspired or crazy?
So, I have a half marathon (Iron Girl Half) coming up one week before Broad Street (and two weeks before Ragnar Cape Cod – yes, I have a busy race calendar for three weeks). I’m more excited about a PR at Broad Street than I am with the half because I love Broad Street. I also don’t want to end up injured, so I’m pondering the idea of leaving the Garmin in my hotel room during the Iron Girl for 13.1 miles of running by feel. Maybe I’ll just run it for fun – use it as a training run for Broad Street in a new city. Check out the sites and parks along the course. Enjoy the breeze. Yada, yada, yada. Sure, there will be clocks along the course and I’ll be able to calculate my splits, but I won’t be able to check my wrist every 30 seconds to see how I’m doing. I really have no idea how this will play out time-wise. I could add 10 minutes to my time, or I could slash five minutes from my time. Heck, maybe I’ll finish around the same time, but enjoy the race a heck of a lot more than if I spent two hours stressing about how fast I was running. I’m going to get a medal regardless, right? (Priorities!)
This race will also be my first out of town race that I will be traveling to solo. This was purely by accident. My husband planned to travel down to Maryland with me and we were going to use it as a mini-vacation of sorts. I booked this half after I pulled out of the Caesar Rodney Half in Wilmington. We semi-unexpectedly put our dog to sleep six days prior to Caesar Rodney and I was simply too physically and emotionally exhausted to run, let alone run a half marathon. It was disappointing because I trained for it. I decided to search for another semi-close-to-Philly half in April. I was thrilled when I found Iron Girl. It was in a small town (Columbia, Maryland), women only, only two hours away, and included sweet finishers medal! (I’m not going to lie – I run for bling.) We booked the hotel immediately. Then a few days later my husband was talking about a gig and we had one of these conversations:
“Cool. The gig sounds awesome. Wait, when is the gig again?”
“Saturday the 28th from 1-5PM.”
“Like the day we were supposed to leave for Maryland for my half marathon? Oh snap.”
No one was to blame, we both booked an event on the same weekend. Since we live in the city we only have one (very under-used) car, so he can’t meet me down there. We pondered the logistics of him taking a bus to Baltimore Saturday night but decided it would be more beneficial for me to be relaxing in the hotel (rather than trying to find the bus station in a city I don’t know the night before a race.) So, I’m going to use it as a forced Carrie-vacation. I’m going to read my book by the pool on Saturday afternoon. I’ll go to the “Meet & Greet w/ Joan Benoit Samuelson” on Saturday (which I never would have put my husband through). I’ll spend way too much time at the expo. I’ll jump in bed at 9PM and wake up at 4AM without worrying about waking him up, and so on. It’s actually going to be kind of nice. But I’ll miss having someone waiting for me at the finish line. He better have a beer waiting for me when I get back to Philly…
So runners – thoughts on leaving my watch behind? Have you ever done a naked half marathon? Do you run races naked often? Should I do it? Leave me a comment! Help me decide…
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It gets better…
It gets better guys…
I’m not feeling so bland. Life has come back. (And I’ve gone on two runs since my last post.) I don’t think I’ve cried today. I got choked up reading some comments on my last post (my readers are wonderful), but I was able to go through pictures today and just smile. I can close my eyes and remember the way his fur felt. I can hear his snore. I can remember the day I first met him. These memories can never be taken away from me. I’m no where near being done with my grief but the outpouring of support has been amazing.
Quite a few people have sent me emails saying, “It’s great to know I’m not alone.” You’re not. Trust me, you’re not. And you are not crazy. There is support out there. Don’t let anyone tell you, “He was just a dog.” He wasn’t. If you want to laugh, laugh. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to eat ice cream, get me a bowl too. Let the emotions come. They’re going to need to come out at some point. Obviously, make sure you’re nurturing yourself, (eat, rest, go for a walk, find someone to talk to, hold onto small blessings, plant some flowers, watch your favorite movie) but don’t deny any emotions.
One of my most embarrassing emotions (I can’t believe I’m sharing this) happened during the first few days after we lost him. I remember thinking, “Wow. Feeding time is really easy when you have a healthy dog.” And then I felt like a huge jerk for even thinking that. For the past three months feeding was a stressful routine of “did he eat everything?” and “did he swallow all of the pills?” Lola just eats her food, no questions asked. No pills. No fuss. Feeding time is a snap now. I remember feeling so guilty for feeling that. But it was an emotion and I felt it. I also remember thinking, “Carrie, he was just a dog. There are people who have lost family members to war. People don’t have running water and electricity, and you’re worried about missing your dog?” I let myself wallow in that for a while and then said, “Screw that. Yes. I miss him and I’m not ashamed. Pain is pain. I’m not competing with anyone for validity of emotions.”
What has helped me? I found one of the most cathartic things for me has been to write, write, write. Some of you may not know this, but I own a large dog walking service. So naturally, all of my clients are dog-fanatics. Many of them have been where I am right now, and if they haven’t, they know what it’s like to love an animal deeply. The day after we put him to sleep we started getting emails and cards from our clients and colleagues. They shared what they felt when they went through it. I wrote back. In the three days following his death we received over 100 emails of support. And I replied to all of them. Writing about how I was feeling helped me to understand what I was feeling. Understanding what I was feeling helped me to realize that my grief is evolving DAILY. And one day, I’ll be able to say, “He was a damn good dog,” without the raw pain of missing him.
So maybe you don’t have hundreds of dog-crazy clients to share your thoughts with? Just write. Keep a journal. Start a blog. It really helped me to write about the event. It was as if getting it out of my memory and onto the screen helped me work through what actually happened. “It” was a major event in my life. I held my dog in my arms as he died. I felt his last breath on my hand and I was the one who authorized the injection that took away his heartbeat. To pretend this isn’t monumental and life-changing event is ridiculous. In many ways, death is all around us, but I’m beginning to think many people feel alone in their grief. I think even more so for pet owners – people expect deep grief when you lose a human family member, but what about when you lose an animal family member? I wonder how many people are embarrassed by just how devastating the loss of an animal can be. If you feel alone, write, contact a pet loss support group, and rest in the knowledge that it will get better.
On Tuesday (after I wrote the previous post) and with some encouraging comments of Facebookand DailyMile, I decided to go for a run. I did a quite a few “pick-ups” (sprinting bursts) and I ran hard when I felt like it, and jogged when I was tired. I ran the way my emotions have been for the last nine days. Fast, slow, up, down, high, low. I just went with what felt right. I ran with a smile on my face. I ran with a grimace on my face because my legs felt like they were pumping battery acid. I ran like an emotional wild-woman. And it helped so much. At one point I just stopped and closed my eyes and felt the sun on my face. A feeling of peace washed over me and I reveled in it. I honestly gave myself over to it. (People must have thought I had lost it. Sprinting down the sidewalk one minute, slamming on the breaks the next to close my eyes…)
One of the things I’ve learned from this event is to cherish every moment. If the sun feels good on your face, soak it up. If your dog is by your side, tell her she’s the best in the world. If you want to sprint, fly. If you have sneakers and you’re feeling antsy, lace them up and open the door. Even if everything has been turned upside down, hold onto the beautiful moments. They might be fleeting at first, and that should make you cherish them that much more. Because let’s face it, you might go home and end up crying in your dog’s bed twenty minutes later – so enjoy the beauty when you find it.
On Wednesday I really wanted some consistency so I ran a fast 5-miler. I just kept moving. When I wanted to slow down I told myself, “Carrie, you got through losing Max. You can keep this pace up for another few miles. This is nothing.” I came home sweaty and with a mean blister on my heel from new shoes, but I felt like I accomplished something. And then I singed up for a half marathon in four weeks. I’ve started to crawl back to normal. (Or run back to normal.)
Just getting out there helped me. It took nearly every ounce of strength I had, but it reminded me that life will go on. My husband and I were talking about how we were feeling today and both of us mentioned that we’re starting to feel “normal.” And it frightened both of us because the “new normal” is a life without Max. I did catch myself opening the front door today an expected to see him, but that’s happening less and less. And part of me wants to hold onto that. I want to remember what it’s like to see him when I open the door. But at the same time there is nothing I can do about it. He is gone. Life. has. changed.
But the sun still shines. Lola is still by my side. Spring has arrived. I still need to cherish each day. He would have wanted that.
He will always be with me…
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